everyone is different..

they have different thoughts and feelings..

i don't understand what you are thinking or going through..

but i don't expect you to understand me fully either..

the least you could do is explain and help me understand..

"you don't understand"

you use these words so freely as a means of escape..

at this point..

i don't understand you either..

it can only be one thing..

money..

humans really do show the ugly side of themselves when it comes to money..
when there is money to take..
everyone all wants the piece of the pie..
you don't care who you have to step on to get it..
you don't mind of the words that you say to get it..

out of good will i mentioned your name..
"just to let you know.. she was a part of it too"..
and all you could say to me was i shouldn't have said "just to let you know"..
then they won't action on it..
what right do i have to say "you must or you need to place her name in"..
i not the one who decides who gets the pie or not..
how can i just demand to have your name inside..
then next thing you said was "you don't understand what i am trying to say"..
let me ask you back..
do you understand what i am trying to say??

if the world was so simple..
then there will not be any war..
if you feel that it is unfair that you did not get a piece of the pie..
well..
the world is not that simple and fair..
and it will never be..

And it has..

what began as a temporary job in 2008/2009 has become something I would never expect..

first an offer to stay one more year.. And in a blink of an eye.. 1 year has come to pass..

Many things happened in between.. With equally good and bad events coming to light..

and before I knew it.. I have resigned myself to one more year at my current job..

honestly.. I have no clue on what I want to do..

Carrying on here is not a long term option..

Everyday is just more questions and less answers than I would like..

Carry on is not an option..

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

We used to love, please don't make me cry
To me, it's only you
When I close my eyes, I see you - when I block my ears, I hear you
Please don't leave me

The person who became a light in my dark life, such a precious person
A day passes and another passes and Iong for you more, even as I sing this song

We used to love, please don't make me cry
To me, it's only you
When I close my eyes, I see you - when I block my ears, I hear you
Please don't leave me

You might come back, because you might return, again today, I wait for you
You don't know, you don't know how much I'm hurting, even as I sing this song

We used to love, please don't make me cry
To me, it's only you
When I close my eyes, I see you - when I block my ears, I hear you
Please don't leave me

If I were to chose between you and the world
Even if everything is taken away from me, if it's you, I'm okay
Day or night, I'm thirsty for love
My unseemly promise to forget you makes me cry again, can you hear me?
The only thing I want from you is you
Without you, I can't do anything
If you hear this song, please come back, come back

The more I love, the gaunter I get
To me, it's only you
We use to love, please don't make me cry
Please don't leave me

Yeah uh uh, in the end, you turn away and you keep me away
I threw away my pride and like a crazy person, I followed you
But my heart urged me on and told me
Not to lose you, who is the only one in the world
I pretended to smile, pretended to be fine
This is the last song I am singing to you
Please don't leave me

seems like i don't understand you anymore..
you say you don't like people who act like this and yet you your ownself is acting as such..

isn't this what you would say..
the pot calling the kettle black..

i sick and tired of you always acting like this..
if you are looking for some kind of sympathy from others..
you will not be getting it from me..

maybe you are going through certain ups and downs..
but the time for you to react better got to start now..

maybe it is just me who is fed up with your issues..
got to get away from this negativity..

look at me, the one that you once loved
look at me, the one that once loved you

Is there nothing we can do for each now?
Why is our love getting tiring
When was the last time we were inside the deep darkness
Lips are drying up and my heart is losing happiness
the cold wind is stroking by ears
loneliness is adding up, and getting soaked into dreams
I'm missing the night we were together

look at me, the one that you once loved
look at me, the one that once loved you

If we're apart for a long period of time would we know each other's hearts?
Will we wake up from the pressure of love?
The midpoint of love and separation, who are we standing on top of it?
who should be the one forgiving who should be the one to loving and
who should be the one that should be hurting
i love you, even if i say i love you you're only getting further away
by the wind, even if get blown by the wind i can't forget
there are times when our misfortunate days come and go, like if we're on a swing
instead let's just break up
if we were to meet again someday, then on that day let's place newspapers all over the land
Like before i will offer you my fingernails, cut them nicely for me
i will give into your chest, wash my hair for me
when that day comes love me again, love me

look at me, the one that you once loved
look at me, the one that once loved you

the clothes inside my closet cry while waiting for you
the red lips i drew
says that i love you repeatedly
is it a sin to love you
is it time for me to let you be now
because of this loneliness it's hard for me day after day
love seems like it's a bunch of foam bubbles mounting up

even if that continues i can't let you go, a person like you
even if that continues i wanna hang onto you, a person like you

look at me, the one that you once loved
look at me, the one that once loved you

Hot like fire, you’re ma boy
Baby can’t you see that look at my eyes
Look at my eyes that are in sorrow
Hotter than the red sun, you loved me, don’t make me cry

Like a prison, you must have imprisoned me in you

Hot like fire, you’re ma boy
Baby can’t you see that look at my eyes
Look at my eyes that are in sorrow
Hotter than the red sun, you loved me, don’t make me cry

Hotter than the red sun, you loved me, don’t make me cry

I don’t believe that you’re gonna come back
Hotter than the red sun, you loved me, don’t make me cry

a post of events and feelings that have long since past me by..

since when did talking to each other become so complicated?
since when did meeting you become so complicated?
since when did everything between us become so complicated?

why did we stop talking truthfully to each other?
why did we hide behind a mask and others?
why did things start to fall apart?

when there is no basic trust..
when feelings become to burdensome..

have you ever thought that maybe the problem is not me, not her, not him but lies with you and you alone?

Save me from broken time
Lalala Lalala Lalala Lalala
Who else has been praying and dreaming
About all the things that could have been done
Tell me everything, look at me and tell me, now please stop

I only hear rough and cruel sighs
But what I don’t hear is a sound of relief
I’m praying, and also calling out for someone to take me out of here

Stand by me and necessary
Little by little, you’re getting more sick
Lalala Lalala Lalala Lalala
Cry for me and I’m sorry
Little by little the things you lost are starting to cave in
Please embrace me

Waking up would stop me, switching back time would stop me
Just like yesterday, show me your smile
Tighten sadness were hidden, all the pain who came up were hidden
No,no,no, don’t say those words of goodbye

Who else is living, but
Dulled with all the things that were done
Tell me everything, look at me and tell me, please tell me honestly to stay with you

Tears is like rain soaking all my body
His frozen body is hung on the ground
I’m trembling, and also crying
Talalala Lalalala

Stand by me and necessary
Little by little, you’re getting more sick
Lalala Lalala Lalala Lalala
Cry for me and I’m so sorry
Little by little the things you lost are starting to cave in
Please embrace me

Waking up would stop me, switching back time would stop me
Just like yesterday, show me your smile
Tighten sadness were hidden, all the pain who came up were hidden
No,no,no, don’t say those words of goodbye

I’m sincerely praying, listen to the song
The answer is that I’m also crying

Hold me and fly with me, let’s fly freely
I can’t catch you floating.. I can’t hold on to you
Trying to live for just one more day, biting my lips
No,no,no don’t fade away right now

Save me from broken time
Lalala Lalala Lalala Lalala

as a friend..
am i someone who helps you to clean your shit up everytime..


as a friend..
shouldn't you not be giving me your shit to clean up..


as a friend..
am i only here to be of help when you need it..


as a friend..
have you ever wondered if i ever needed help..


as a friend..



maybe we were never ever truly friends..